Visiting our house

So yesterday N came to our house for a day visit. She was thrilled she was coming over but of course nervous too. M2 gave her the grand house tour and we had lunch. My BFF came over and we went to the trampoline park to bounce off some energy.

Well for the better part of an hour all of us jumped ourselves silly. The kids tried flips, I tried not to fall. It was a ton of fun and you could tell everyone was enjoying themselves. N jumped and flipped like she was born to do it. M1 tried few times but mostly spooked herself out of it and M2 was practicing her somersaults. Well until she had the meltdown from Hades then M2 was just practicing being the devil’s child.

We get home and immediately N wants to watch a movie. I explain that we do not watch a bunch of TV in our house and suggested the kids play with the Wii. My two jumped on board, pulled it out and started immediately. N was fixated on a movie. Why not on the computer? Why not on the TV? Why can’t I stop the Wii and let her do it? I explained again what her options were and she chose to wander around the house looking at stuff. OK whatever not going to turn on the movies.

N if I would let her
N if I would let her

N said to M1 when they were playing “Now I have to forget my Mom” and M1 asked why. N explained that since she was going to live her she knew that it would mean she has to forget her Mom because that is what the other house had said (yes those were their exact words I was told). Thank goodness M1 had the where with all to come and see me and have me explain to her that in this house that is not the case. I asked her a few questions about her Mom and asked if she had pictures. She said she had some old one so I said “OK next visit we take some and then you will have current ones of your family for your room” She looked confused so I reminded her “in this house we DO NOT forget first Mom’s and they are VERY important” She smiled a bit but I am not sure she believed me. Inside though I was cursing the other parents, I mean really you are going to tell a teenager to forget half of who she is?

She eventually had a turn at the Wii and had a bit of fun. We ate dinner and she loved my cooking. I had to laugh because it was her favorite Macaroni and Cheese but home made and she had never had home made Mac and Cheese. We had cake for dessert and then went outside for awhile while we waited for her staff to come get her. She kept asking if we EVER watch movies like we had deprived her of a source of nourishment and we explained that sometimes we do but NOT every day.

The staff comes and N immediately tells her that she is coming back on Friday (she is) and that this time is an overnight. N explained that “unless I watch 2 movies every night I won’t go to sleep” I laughed and said out loud “It is funny what we tell ourselves isn’t it?” The staff agreed it was just a bad habit she had. In my head I laughed to myself nope honey you are NOT going to watch two movies every night. I might give ya one on the weekend but NO not every night. N  insisted it was so and I told her we would see. M2 walked away muttering “That means no”

Yep there will be some adjusting for sure but she is not the first kid I had to pull away from “the boob tube” as my Dad called it. No doubt there will be protests but ah well that is was these tests are for. We shall over come it I have faith but I do wonder how many tears and tantrums it will take?

For sure!!!!
For sure!!!!
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3 thoughts on “Visiting our house

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  1. The comment about forgetting her mom broke my heart, but I love that M1 and you were able to tell her how it works in your house, and how her first mom will always be an important part of her memories and life. Wishing you the best with breaking the movie habit.

  2. I guess I could understand that expectation, however awful it may be. By giving her the expectation that the worst will occur they are setting her up for a warped sense of success. My heart breaks for that child. I am so glad that you will show her what healthy love and boundaries are and allow her to be a kid.

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