Managing My Expectations

Well it is hard to believe that in a few short weeks it will be time for M1, M2 and my BFF to test for their new belts. We did a forms review in class this week and wow I am super critical is all I can say.

The instructor broke us out via belt so the three of them are in one group and I am in another. I knew I did not know my form but all right I have to practice more I get that. We did it a few times and I was getting a hair better but not by much. I did not see my crew so I had no clue as to how they were doing. We go back to the large group and start to show off our form. Egads I was awful but all right proof I need to practice. I did not stop or say anything negative about my craptastic performance so I get points for teaching the girls to deal with failing right??!?!

They then call up M1 and my BFF to do their form. I wince internally, I know they are trying to be considerate of M2 but if you set the bar low she will not achieve much higher. I want her up there even if it means she will melt down, does that make me horrible? I want her to try and potentially fail instead of being able to avoid the situation because she is “different”. I don’t want her to learn she can avoid doing what is uncomfortable, life will not let her and I feel like I would fail as a parent if I accepted this would happen. BUT I will not argue with the Instructor, maybe talk to him after classes about my concern.

M1 goes through her form and looks like crap. Yes she knows the moves but she looks so disinterested, lazy and wishy washy. I hate myself for being so judgmental. Yes I am a black belt, yes I am her Mom but I need to not be so harsh on her. My mind burns though because I know she is capable of doing more and looking much better. I know she can look awesome and yet am stumped as to how to get her to do it for herself. What I would not give to be able to figure out how to motivate her to do better then the minimum.

Class ends and the Master Instructor talks about the competition. Black belt it is mandatory you MUST either compete, judge or volunteer. All other belts it is up to you. Both M1 and M2 express interest and I am hopeful. I ask what they want to do and both want to do breaking and M1 wants to do forms. I say nothing because I know I am critical and the last thing she needed to hear was my negativity. M1 looked at me and said “Could I win doing form the way I was doing it?”  My heart raced a bit I needed words to say it without crushing her spirit so I thought a moment. I said “Well it is not about knowing your form, that is part of it but the other bigger piece is showmanship. Do you know what showmanship is?” She did not so I explained how you have to make it look just like a video in order to win. M1 laughed and said “Oh so I will definitely have to practice then”

Phew escaped that one narrowly. But I do hope she does well and yes of course I will show her what to do.

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