Therapizing M1

Today we had our scheduled therapy appointment with M1. We have been with this therapist for 9 years now and she knows both of us inside and out. She knows M1s tricks and my temper so not much shocks her any more. I was glad we had the appointment though because of the lack of judgement M1 had demonstrated earlier this week referencing the drugs. The good news is that M1 brought the topic up because she was indignant that I had “over reacted”

The therapist looked at her and said quite simply “Well do you understand why your Mom went off the deep end?” I was surprised but she actually did not understand it. She failed to see what might have happened and since it didn’t happen badly she can’t figure out my upset with the whole thing. We talked for awhile and eventually M1 came around to understanding although she did not really agree with it. On my part I acknowledged that she had good intentions but due to the lack of judgement I would struggle to trust her. Suddenly the therapist got a serious look on her face. She turned to M1 and said

“I need to ask you a question. You have a safety concern for your friend. You are afraid he might get physically abused by his parents. Do you want me or your mother to turn his family in?”

The shock on her face was beyond words. She stammered no and then looked at me very accusingly and said “Wait a minute you know how to hotline someone? How long have you known how to do this and how many times have you done it?” The therapist interjected quickly “M1 your Mom is a mandated reporter she has been since before she met you.” WOW talk about turning you kids world upside down and so we spent the next several minutes talking about what my job is when I am in a “professional capacity” versus when I am being a Mom. Since I found out about the abuse in my Mom capacity I did not have to tell but would if she wanted that to happen. She processed this slowly but eventually she decided she wanted me to call but only because the parents of her friend would not know it was me that did it. I gave her a hug and told her she was brave, it is hard sometimes doing the right thing.

We gave her a minute after the long process of deciding and the M1 looked at me and said “Well I think we should talk about you for a minute” I was confused and she looked at the therapist and said “What would you say if I said by next week Mom might have 6 kids?” I was confused and the therapist was as well, so I asked her to clarify. She laughed out loud and said “Umm Mom this week is when your friend has to go before the judge. If her kids come into care you might get one right?” The therapist said “All right spill it” and I explained the story to her. She expressed some concerns that the Judge was serious because she too had never heard of this particular Judge threatening someone with removal (the other Judge does threaten). I asked if she would be lenient because it was literally three days before Christmas and the therapist was not convinced she would if the family has been given time. I said I don’t want to think about it since I am not sure it will happen and the therapist laughed and said “But might it?” and I said there was a chance but I did not know how good of one.

The therapist shook her head and laughed. Yeah I guess M1 and I keep her on her toes for sure.

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