The kids talked to Mom tonight and it was a mixed blessing. Little Man had had a good day at school so it was good for him to be able to tell Mom that but Little Bit is confused by the phone and just waved the whole time. Mom sounded a little more at ease with the kids then she did with me so I was glad for that as well. We talked about the Balloon Festival on Saturday and camping this week. Mom sounded sad when the kids talked about this and said “See Little Man, you are having a great time, better then you would be having if you lived here with me” I felt bad for Mom in that moment and made a mental note maybe we should tone it down so she doesn’t feel so badly about what she can’t do with the kids. They talked to her for about 10 minutes when she suddenly said “Can I talk to you so the kids don’t hear?” I agreed and took her off speaker. Telling the kids to grab their pajamas I focus on Mom and what she is saying.
“They told me today they want me to go to supportive living. I have gotten all I can get out of this program and they think it would be better if I went to another location. I think it will be good it will be less restrictive and since I am having trouble following all the rules it will probably be better.” Well I am stymied but don’t anything about rehab so it sounds fishy but I have no clue if it is or not. She then continues “I don’t know a lot about it but I probably can’t have the kids right away so I am not sure what its going to happen there”
A familiar panic creeps up my throat. I say nothing as I don’t trust my voice just yet. She continues “But you are really good to me so I can still have contact with them but just not have them right now” I reassure her that I have no issues with the kids having contact as long as she is sober but am choking on fear as I say this out loud. My mind is screaming ASFA and 15 out of 24 months can she do this. I am scared to death for her and feel horrible that I doubt her ability but I just can’t help it. I am just not sure she can handle it and the story she just gave me doesn’t add up in my mind. I quickly pray I am wrong but my gut is churning in fear I am not.
Thankfully her staff interrupt us and she to go. I tell her to take care and be safe thankful the conversation is over. I am not sure what is going on but when DSS gets here on Friday I will have tons of questions.