Right Song Wrong Verse

I had to take Little Man to the ENT today to get the one tube removed that had fallen out and was embedded in wax in his ear. Yeah I know gross but some parts of parenting aren’t pretty LOL.

Mom meets me at the doctor and I am momentarily excited. She looks good, healthy even and of course the kids are super excited to see her. We exchange small talk as the receptionist looks to me for all the answers, after all Mom has not been there for over a year and is not aware. We start to move to the waiting room and Mom begins a critique on my ability to care successfully for the kids dry skin. I am at first defensive then I remember she really is trying to help. She tells me the cream I am using, Aveeno, is no good and they need a cream that she says costs $28 a jar. I ask her for the name and she doesn’t remember but promises to get it for me “soon”. I keep reminding myself to let it go and as she focuses on the kids it gets easier.

While we are in the waiting room she relays to me that there is a provider meeting on Thursday and asks if I will be there. I say I will not as my understanding was that it was between her and her service providers. She says “Oh I don’t care if you are there it is only to discuss if the visits can be moved to my house. Moving visits to the house is the next step in me getting them back soon.” My heart sinks that is not what I understood the meeting to be about, but I dismiss it because I don’t know for sure what the meeting is about and I might have misunderstood the case manager.

The doctor calls us and Mom tries to answer the questions. Little Man looks at her and contradicts her several times saying “No Mom that isn’t right” and again I feel bad. I correct some of the information but some of it was irrelevant so I let it go and remind Little Man to do the same. Tube comes out; all is well and Mom and Little Man are happy so I am relieved.

I relay to the case manager the content of the conversation because I was concerned that if Mom had an issue that it be addressed and I don’t know if Mom would be forward enough to advocate for her concern. The case manager emails me back

“The meeting on Thursday is to get (Mom and Dad) on the same sheet as (rehab house). Right now they are not on the same sheet and they have some unrealistic expectations about what needs to happen and we have to be clear with them what must transpire for this to happen.”

I read this and immediately felt awful. All I could think was how hurt Mom was going to be if they did not agree that it would be “soon” They had already shot down the 2-3 month plan originally proposed but in a frightening second I thought maybe no one told Mom. I worried about her hearing what they might say. I worried about the impact if it isn’t soon.

So tonight I am sort of scared and definitely worried. I know I am powerless to control any of this so instead I will pray for everyone involved. Pray she can hear and accept what they say and most of all that the ones making the decision really focus on helping her get what she needs so she can do this.

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3 thoughts on “Right Song Wrong Verse

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  1. I know this was a couple months ago but just thought id share- my (bio) daughter is half black and I always use cocoa butter on her skin, coconut oil (often found in health stores, food section not skin care) is great too. One thing I read that made sense was to lotion them up when they’re still wet after bath to seal in the moisture. Lotion on dry skin is just like a barrier but not putting more moisture in 🙂 still reading up to present entries, “see” you then

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