Grace under pressure

M1 has a hot temper and mouth to go with it. She is the child I must continually remind to be nice and play well with others but today she totally shocked me and impressed me with her grace in an awkward situation.

I had bought two t-shirts from a fellow blogger who was using it for fundraising. The shirts simply said “Superman was adopted” and both my girls liked the shirt so as a surprise I bought it for them and gave it to them last night. Both put it on this morning and when I went to pick up M1 the after care worker commented to M2 that it was a cute shirt. So M1 not to be undone said “Look I am wearing one too” Now the worker is young (18 or 19) and said “Well yeah but why does it matter that he was adopted?”

I saw the fire in M1’s eyes but then thought to myself “No let her fight her own battle” as I choked back my own surprise and shock at the ignorance behind the statement. Biting my tongue I looked at M1 to see what would happen. I watched her take a breath and finally say “Well L** to those of us that are adopted it matters a whole lot”  L** looked totally shocked and inside I was doing a happy dance my kid did it and handled it well thank you God.  L** stumbled over her words and looked at me and said “I am sorry I thought you were their real mother”  Now it was my time to be grace under pressure. So I took a breath and said “Umm L** I am their real mother. I take care of them, love them and raise them but no in fact I am NOT their biological mother as NO I did not give birth to them. However at no time does that not make me their real Mom”

The site director quickly jumped in at this point and apologized. Both M1 and I smiled and assured her it was fine and that we were not angry but rather wanted to help someone understand that to some of us adoption is in fact very important. The director again apologized and my daughter and I laughed and assured her it really was OK no one was angry.  Ignorant maybe but no, no one was angry.

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