Well it has been several weeks since we were cleared to adopt and no one has contacted me from the first match. I am disappointed, upset and frustrated. I am spiritual though so maybe this is not the divine plan…well adoption I am sure it but maybe not this specific child so today I moved on.
They asked me two weeks ago when I was guest presenting a student asked me how much it hurt to know you had to say no to a child because you could not meet their needs. I talked about the hurt the disappointment but stressed the firmness of my conviction that I HAD LIMITATIONS that I MUST respect or a child suffers. I don’t want to hurt a child I explained to them so I accept my limitations and move on but yeah it hurts and yeah I wish. Maybe the first child is outside of my ability and it is divine intervention which is why it has not happened.
I looked at the Massachusetts site today and found two sets of sisters I was interested in. The good news is that they were closer to my home the bad news it is a holiday week so no one is in. I reached out for info on two pairs of sisters and almost immediately heard back from one of them “a history of trauma have witnessed domestic violence. XXX can be aggressive at times, and YYY has a speech impediment.” I am torn they are the right ages but aggressive worries me. I talk with friends and a bit with the coordinator she says the worker wants someone with behavior management experience and I definitely have that but still….
I take a deep breath…submit my home study…..the waiting begins again……